The three act structure and holidays
Dec. 7th, 2025 05:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lillilahThe standard story structure that we use in the West is something similar to the three act structure, which basically has an inciting incident (what begins the story), the rising action (tension increases as the story unfolds with difficulties along the way that keep the hero from reaching the goal), and the climax (where all that tension peaks and starts to be resolved).
I've been thinking about holidays and how to make them fun. I've been thinking about this for quite a while, so probably you've read about this here before. I've known it is about doing some holiday-related activities and that kind of thing to get you in the spirit, but that isn't all of it. Yesterday, I started wondering how much of the difficulty was that we already get whatever we want from an online store as soon as we want it and that we eat all the luxurious food we want, so feast-day food is no longer a big deal. Today, I started with that idea and worked on it until I came out with the following:
Holidays are good if they follow the three act structure.
They start with your realization that it is approaching the holiday season. Perhaps, in the case of Christmas, it is that Thanksgiving is over, or that people start putting up lights. Next, your anticipation begins to build, but you also face some challenges. One is that you need to wait for the holiday (which is already super hard if you are a kid), but others might be travel, buying presents, or preparing food. However, after all the little events that build tension - holiday parties, Christmas music, seeing Christmas decorations everywhere - you get the climactic event: opening presents with a big tree covered in lights.
If the buildup goes on too long, the anticipation wears off. If there is no buildup, it feels a lot less like a holiday, and if the climax is sub-par, it is disappointing.
This is really helpful for me, as now I can see that all the events in the world during the build-up phase don't work to create a satisfying holiday if there is no climax at the end. Likewise, if the climax is too stressful, like Thanksgiving was this year, even though there wasn't actually all that much that I did, it isn't satisfying.
So, now, I'm thinking of organizing holidays/really exciting events around these three factors:
* buildup appropriate to the event (edit: with a sense of joy and wonder, as a friend points out)
* a climax that is fun/exciting/enjoyable enough to justify all the buildup
* the day of the event should be low enough stress that the participants have the energy to enjoy it
To that end, we'll do some more in terms of decorations, but I won't do tons and tons more Christmas stuff around town. Then, we'll have friends who have no family in town over on Christmas Day (or something else if everyone changes their minds) to make gingerbread houses (I'll make the gingerbread in advance to lower the stress), string popcorn on thread to make garlands, and maybe do something that is festive in their countries. Probably, we'll feed them, but it will be something simple like sandwiches or a maybe a spicy ground turkey casserole that Joel really likes. If they all flake, maybe Joel and I will go and walk along the bike path by the river together, since I love Joel time. We're also considering hiring one of the professional Game Masters to run a holiday-themed roleplaying game for us, since that would also be super fun and much less stress than having to run it ourselves.
I've been thinking about holidays and how to make them fun. I've been thinking about this for quite a while, so probably you've read about this here before. I've known it is about doing some holiday-related activities and that kind of thing to get you in the spirit, but that isn't all of it. Yesterday, I started wondering how much of the difficulty was that we already get whatever we want from an online store as soon as we want it and that we eat all the luxurious food we want, so feast-day food is no longer a big deal. Today, I started with that idea and worked on it until I came out with the following:
Holidays are good if they follow the three act structure.
They start with your realization that it is approaching the holiday season. Perhaps, in the case of Christmas, it is that Thanksgiving is over, or that people start putting up lights. Next, your anticipation begins to build, but you also face some challenges. One is that you need to wait for the holiday (which is already super hard if you are a kid), but others might be travel, buying presents, or preparing food. However, after all the little events that build tension - holiday parties, Christmas music, seeing Christmas decorations everywhere - you get the climactic event: opening presents with a big tree covered in lights.
If the buildup goes on too long, the anticipation wears off. If there is no buildup, it feels a lot less like a holiday, and if the climax is sub-par, it is disappointing.
This is really helpful for me, as now I can see that all the events in the world during the build-up phase don't work to create a satisfying holiday if there is no climax at the end. Likewise, if the climax is too stressful, like Thanksgiving was this year, even though there wasn't actually all that much that I did, it isn't satisfying.
So, now, I'm thinking of organizing holidays/really exciting events around these three factors:
* buildup appropriate to the event (edit: with a sense of joy and wonder, as a friend points out)
* a climax that is fun/exciting/enjoyable enough to justify all the buildup
* the day of the event should be low enough stress that the participants have the energy to enjoy it
To that end, we'll do some more in terms of decorations, but I won't do tons and tons more Christmas stuff around town. Then, we'll have friends who have no family in town over on Christmas Day (or something else if everyone changes their minds) to make gingerbread houses (I'll make the gingerbread in advance to lower the stress), string popcorn on thread to make garlands, and maybe do something that is festive in their countries. Probably, we'll feed them, but it will be something simple like sandwiches or a maybe a spicy ground turkey casserole that Joel really likes. If they all flake, maybe Joel and I will go and walk along the bike path by the river together, since I love Joel time. We're also considering hiring one of the professional Game Masters to run a holiday-themed roleplaying game for us, since that would also be super fun and much less stress than having to run it ourselves.
Thoughts
Date: 2025-12-07 07:41 pm (UTC)In my family we do have a feast food category for things that are stupendous to enjoy, but require larger amounts of labor to produce for everyday purposes. A fancy birthday cake, a curry that takes hours and 2 dozen spices, etc. -- things we cannot simply buy at a store or restaurant. Though we do also have categories for seasonal splurges and for celebration restaurants. This not only keeps our time and cash budgets reasonable most of the time, it helps us maintain some things that feel special because they are rare.
>>Perhaps, in the case of Christmas, it is that Thanksgiving is over, <<
In my family, the day after Thanksgiving is the start of the Christmas season. When I was little, that's when we put up the tree and lights. Nowadays it's when I turn on the little potpourri bowl with lights in it.
>>or that people start putting up lights.<<
Trouble is, they never take them down anymore, and there are lights (sometimes in different colors) for other holidays such as Halloween. It stops being fun and starts being irritating. Especially the big displays in the park: Mattoon Lightworks starts setting up in October, which means the park is closed for its normal functions for 2-3 months instead of just 1, and most of that time the damn light show isn't even turned on! A very poor use of resources.
>> If the buildup goes on too long, the anticipation wears off. If there is no buildup, it feels a lot less like a holiday, and if the climax is sub-par, it is disappointing.<<
Yes, exactly. This is especially true for holiday music. I actually love Christmas music. Yesterday we went to a holiday market that had live carolers! But what is fun for one month is disorienting if it starts in October or early November, and already downright grating if you've had to listen to it for a month or two before December even arrives. Not to mention the aggravation of Christmas decorations taking the place of Halloween decorations in stores a week or two before Halloween. It becomes difficult to find things you need for the approaching holiday.
>>So, now, I'm thinking of organizing holidays/really exciting events around these three factors:<<
That's an intelligent approach insofar as you have control over things.
>>I'll make the gingerbread in advance to lower the stress <<
Make-ahead elements make a feast or party activity much saner. I'm also a fan of things that can be made by dumping them in a crockpot. I don't want to mess with more than one attention-hungry feast food unless I have a team of people helping -- and hell, at least 2 of our feast foods take a whole team to produce.
A lot really depends on thinking about personal interests and budgeting resources. What do you love doing that feels like holiday to you? What just feels like a chore that you'd rather skip? How much time, money, energy, etc. can you spare toward festive activities? And so on.
Over the last several years, there's been a huge rise in holiday markets for my area -- many towns now have one. We can go out, get some interesting or festive food, shop the vendors, see pretty displays, and with a little luck hear carolers. And all we have to do is drive there, not organize or make anything.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2025-12-07 10:41 pm (UTC)Having lived overseas for years, I have been spared a lot of the early Christmas excesses.
This year, a lot of our holiday stuff will be with friends. I've heard there are big holiday markets in the city. At some point, I might go by one if they are open when I'm in the area and aren't too crowded. I think with all the tourists, though, they might be too crowded. Probably not worth it, since I wouldn't buy anything.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2025-12-07 11:17 pm (UTC)When I was in high school, my mother and I made a Russian walnut cake that was done entirely with ground black walnuts instead of wheat flour. It was magnificent.
>> I would love to hear about your intense holiday dishes.<<
Two that take a large team about half a day to make are Syrian Meat Pies and a green curry.
Syrian Meat Pies come out looking like little triangular hats. They use a yeast dough around a filling of ground meat with vegetables and spices. Here is a somewhat simpler version online:
https://www.persnicketypanhandler.com/blog/jordanian-filled-breads
The green curry starts with several grocery bags of fresh produce, which is processed into a large pot. We've never actually had a pot big enough to hold everything at once, and have to wait for things to cook down. At the end it's like 1-2 inches of green paste with chunks in it. I couldn't find anything really similar, but this gives you a general idea:
http://indian--foods.blogspot.com/2015/02/vegetables-in-green-curry.html
>>Having lived overseas for years, I have been spared a lot of the early Christmas excesses.<<
That's nice.
>>I've heard there are big holiday markets in the city. At some point, I might go by one if they are open when I'm in the area and aren't too crowded.<<
I would recommend a small town one over a big city one. They are less crowded with better ambiance, and more likely to have time for talking with vendors or other folks if you're into that. If you check around the tourist offices or search online you may be able to find a listing of what's in your area.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2025-12-08 01:40 pm (UTC)I think I've made some Armenian (maybe) meat pies like that. The shape is totally familiar, but of course, lots of things come in that form.
Oh, I can totally imagine making that curry would take a while. I thought of tamales, which I'm pretty sure is also a project that requires a lot of people. I remember going with my aunt in Tucson to get a huge bag of green chilies that were roasted in a big drum over a fire while we watched. I think I had to help peeling them, which is always boring. These days, I would be fine doing it with an audiobook, but back then, so boring.