Realization

[lillilah]

I realize that one of the problems I'm having with Facebook is that I see anger as suffering. I see fear as suffering. Not some kind of "this probably isn't good for you" suffering, but as actual painful suffering. When someone posts how angry they are, it is like reading, "I keep burning my hand on the stove. Help!". However, I have friends who seem to want to hold on to their fear and anger. At least in some way, they don't really want to feel balanced and calm. Not right this moment, anyway. I see this in myself when I get into arguments on Facebook. Part of me wants to continue arguing, even though the rest of me wants to get away from it. I know that I need to stay away from Facebook while people are upset, because I know that I confuse their mourning for asking for help. Now, I see that it isn't just the mourning that I'm confusing with asking for help. Being angry or saying that they are afraid seem like cries for help to me, but they aren't. They aren't looking to get over these feelings, they are just expressing them. This is painful to me.

Likewise, I want to know if I am wrong. If I have made an untrue assumption, I want to know. If my facts are wrong, I want to know. It is important to me to have the correct information, so that I can make rational, logical decisions. (In some ways, knowing that people aren't asking for help is discovering that I was wrong, and I'm happy about it.) These days, when I see something that is obviously wrong, I often ignore it to avoid an argument. However, I know that if I was on the other end of the conversation, I would want someone to say that I was wrong, if I was wrong. I wonder if I could get my friends to tell me which category they fit in. Then, I could only read the Facebook entries of people who I can interact with safely. I'll think about this.