Fears

[lillilah]

I worry sometimes, usually when I am seeing a new doctor or starting a new treatment, about getting better and having to go back to work. I worry that it will be traumatic, that I will be stressed, and not ready. Today, as I worried about this, I remembered what I am like when I am not feeling traumatized. If I am well enough to work, it won't be the Department of Labor trying to force me back to work. I will be sending letters and calling to ask about when I can get my retraining and what services they offer for job placement assistance. I'll be trying to figure out which certifications I can get. I'll have a dozen ideas for different projects that I can work on to build skills that could help me in the job market. The problem will be the same one I always face: that I will try to do too much. As usual, I'm worrying too much. If I get better, which is absolutely not a certainty, then I will work with my doctors to come up with a plan for going back to work. It will be fine.