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Figured it out!
Dec. 26th, 2018 06:29 pmSo, after something stressful, especially a long period of time of something stressful, it takes me a while to recover. I've known this for a while, but I didn't really have any reason that I could come up with for it. Sometimes, after the stress is over, I react worse than I did during the stress. I plan for this, expecting to be out of commission for at least a week after any stressful activity. However, clearly, this sucks. Finally, it looks like I may know the reason.
What we know:
- My cortisol is often too high.
- Cortisol represses insulin production.
- Insulin promotes the absorption of carbohydrates by the body.
What happens:
Under normal circumstances, I use a combination of vitamins to combat the effects of cortisol. This has resulted in me needing to eat more carbohydrates. Otherwise, my knees buckle, and I'm tired and dizzy all the time.
Under prolonged stressful circumstances, my blood sugar goes up slightly for a few days (5.4 before bed, instead of 5.1), and then it plunges. I get really hungry all the time. After a week or so, my stomach starts to hurt, and I get all the symptoms of irritable bowel.
After stressful circumstances, my blood sugar and appetite appear to return to normal, but I am very very anxious all the time, having frequent bouts of extreme anxiety.
What I think is happening:
The vitamins that control the effects of cortisol seem to directly affect my ability to cope with carbohydrates. Since we know that my cortisol level is high, that cortisol represses insulin, and that insulin regulates carbohydrate absorption, it seems to follow that at least some of my problems with carbohydrates are related to cortisol. (I feel like I'm doing a proof for math class.)
When my blood sugar goes up under prolonged stressful circumstances, I think that is cortisol repressing insulin production. This may be the moment when I need to stop to keep from screwing up my metabolism. However, this may be the sign that that moment just passed, and now my metabolism is fucked. Shortly after this increase in blood sugar, my blood sugar goes down. The only thing I do for an extended period of time like this is classes. A friend who is a nurse and diabetic told me that learning a language uses more glucose in your brain than other activities (or something along these lines). Now the big question is: why does my blood sugar go down? I know that it will keep going down as long as I continue classes, and I'll end up extremely depressed eventually. I don't know why, though. Is the increase in appetite related? Is my body kicking into overdrive? I don't know. However, I think I have a guess about what happens next.
I stop classes and my blood sugar and appetite appear to return to normal. However, I'm BATSHIT CRAZY. I have constant anxiety and am unable to do very much at all. Why? What if it is because I've screwed up that careful balance I achieved with my vitamins, my cortisol is high, and I'm unable to handle the carbohydrates that I've been eating? When Joel visited the US and I went bonkers, I ended up having to cut back to 42 grams of carbs a day from 75. At 75g, I hated everyone and felt so wound up that I felt like my eyes were the size of dinner plates.
Yesterday, I ate some apple after dinner, because I forgot to eat it in the middle of the day, when I was supposed to. When I tested my blood sugar half an hour later, it was 7.5. Normally, after eating, it might be 6. Normal is 5. 7.5 is incredibly high for me. I felt incredibly anxious, then really uncomfortable, then okay but really worn out. What is that? That, I'm pretty sure, is reactive hypoglycemia, which for me means that my insulin spikes and causes my blood sugar to crash. It has happened before, and it is a very uncomfortable process.
Today, I cut back from 88 grams of carbs to 62. I am a little anxious, but I haven't had any episodes of extreme or uncontrollable anxiety. Since I was feeling a distinct carb-induced anxiety this evening, I took 100mg of magnesium, since I know that lowers my blood sugar. I'm going to stick with about 60 grams of carbs until my knees start buckling again. Then, I'll slowly increase it.
Since my New Year's resolution is to not fuck myself up so much, I'm going to reorganize the way we do classes. I'm going to try taking our two two-month sections and split them into one-month sections as evenly spaced apart as possible. That will probably help us retain a higher level of language and also (hopefully) keep me from fucking up my metabolism. If that doesn't work, I'll make some other changes. I managed to only hit the beginning of the IBS problems this semester, but that is already a failure, as clearly is my complete raving insanity for the last three days. My current psychologist often points out that not only am I dealing with the effects of the mefloquine damage, but I'm also dealing with the effects of what I do. I will NOT make myself more sick. I hate being sick, and I will do whatever is necessary to keep from being so out of control. If that means that I have to cut way back on the things I do, then I will cut way back. I will NOT make myself more sick.
What we know:
- My cortisol is often too high.
- Cortisol represses insulin production.
- Insulin promotes the absorption of carbohydrates by the body.
What happens:
Under normal circumstances, I use a combination of vitamins to combat the effects of cortisol. This has resulted in me needing to eat more carbohydrates. Otherwise, my knees buckle, and I'm tired and dizzy all the time.
Under prolonged stressful circumstances, my blood sugar goes up slightly for a few days (5.4 before bed, instead of 5.1), and then it plunges. I get really hungry all the time. After a week or so, my stomach starts to hurt, and I get all the symptoms of irritable bowel.
After stressful circumstances, my blood sugar and appetite appear to return to normal, but I am very very anxious all the time, having frequent bouts of extreme anxiety.
What I think is happening:
The vitamins that control the effects of cortisol seem to directly affect my ability to cope with carbohydrates. Since we know that my cortisol level is high, that cortisol represses insulin, and that insulin regulates carbohydrate absorption, it seems to follow that at least some of my problems with carbohydrates are related to cortisol. (I feel like I'm doing a proof for math class.)
When my blood sugar goes up under prolonged stressful circumstances, I think that is cortisol repressing insulin production. This may be the moment when I need to stop to keep from screwing up my metabolism. However, this may be the sign that that moment just passed, and now my metabolism is fucked. Shortly after this increase in blood sugar, my blood sugar goes down. The only thing I do for an extended period of time like this is classes. A friend who is a nurse and diabetic told me that learning a language uses more glucose in your brain than other activities (or something along these lines). Now the big question is: why does my blood sugar go down? I know that it will keep going down as long as I continue classes, and I'll end up extremely depressed eventually. I don't know why, though. Is the increase in appetite related? Is my body kicking into overdrive? I don't know. However, I think I have a guess about what happens next.
I stop classes and my blood sugar and appetite appear to return to normal. However, I'm BATSHIT CRAZY. I have constant anxiety and am unable to do very much at all. Why? What if it is because I've screwed up that careful balance I achieved with my vitamins, my cortisol is high, and I'm unable to handle the carbohydrates that I've been eating? When Joel visited the US and I went bonkers, I ended up having to cut back to 42 grams of carbs a day from 75. At 75g, I hated everyone and felt so wound up that I felt like my eyes were the size of dinner plates.
Yesterday, I ate some apple after dinner, because I forgot to eat it in the middle of the day, when I was supposed to. When I tested my blood sugar half an hour later, it was 7.5. Normally, after eating, it might be 6. Normal is 5. 7.5 is incredibly high for me. I felt incredibly anxious, then really uncomfortable, then okay but really worn out. What is that? That, I'm pretty sure, is reactive hypoglycemia, which for me means that my insulin spikes and causes my blood sugar to crash. It has happened before, and it is a very uncomfortable process.
Today, I cut back from 88 grams of carbs to 62. I am a little anxious, but I haven't had any episodes of extreme or uncontrollable anxiety. Since I was feeling a distinct carb-induced anxiety this evening, I took 100mg of magnesium, since I know that lowers my blood sugar. I'm going to stick with about 60 grams of carbs until my knees start buckling again. Then, I'll slowly increase it.
Since my New Year's resolution is to not fuck myself up so much, I'm going to reorganize the way we do classes. I'm going to try taking our two two-month sections and split them into one-month sections as evenly spaced apart as possible. That will probably help us retain a higher level of language and also (hopefully) keep me from fucking up my metabolism. If that doesn't work, I'll make some other changes. I managed to only hit the beginning of the IBS problems this semester, but that is already a failure, as clearly is my complete raving insanity for the last three days. My current psychologist often points out that not only am I dealing with the effects of the mefloquine damage, but I'm also dealing with the effects of what I do. I will NOT make myself more sick. I hate being sick, and I will do whatever is necessary to keep from being so out of control. If that means that I have to cut way back on the things I do, then I will cut way back. I will NOT make myself more sick.
