Contact

[lillilah]

Having spent a lot of my life trying to keep in contact with friends I've left behind after a move, I've decided (or maybe heard someplace and integrated into my mind) that it isn't the big events of one's life that are important, or at least, they don't make up one's life. The big events might be the highlights (or the things people talk about), but it is the mundane, day to day that makes up most of our living (besides sleeping). It makes sense to talk about work, kids, health, little triumphs, and little disappointments, because those are where we spend our time.

I'm trying to do a better job of staying in touch, and as I talk more with friends, we start off talking about the big things. Eventually, though, we move on to the mundane. I'm so happy about that. The more we talk about the mundane, the fewer long pauses we have, because we aren't trying to think about highlights. We can talk about the little details that make up our lives.

Comments

[fimmtiu]

That's a really insightful thought, actually. I definitely find myself reaching for things to talk about far more often when I'm talking with friends that I haven't seen in a long time than I am when I talk to, say, co-workers, because with the latter I instinctively default to basic everyday conversations like "So, did you do anything interesting this weekend?" instead of struggling to find big things to talk about. Something to keep in mind next time I'm in that situation.

[lillilah]

Thanks! I definitely find that I ask about ongoing projects/health problems/pet problems/mutual friends when I'm caught up with someone, which I think really keeps the conversation going.